By 
I don’t think this is going to go well.
As the SUV pulled up to the Country Club of Jackson, Ka’Mya Williams, a senior education major at Jackson State University, wondered how a forthcoming conversation would turn out. It was both her first time attending a PGA event and engaging in an hour-long conversation about race with a White person she had never met. “I [didn’t] really know much about Belhaven,” Williams said. “But I [did] know it’s a private school … [so] I was like ‘Oh, this isn’t going to go well.”
Although we may be reticent to admit it, many of us have shared similar reactions to conversations we think may be difficult, especially conversations about race and racial healing. According to a recent study commissioned by the W.K. Kellogg Foundation (WKKF), nearly one in three adults in the United States feel some level of discomfort discussing issues involving race or racism with individuals in their community.
But difficult conversations are not impossible.
Jabin Dayemport, a Mississippi College senior who also participated in the conversations about racial healing at the Country Club of Jackson, says that “it’s always going to be a conversation that’s a little tough to have.” He acknowledges “both sides might feel a little uncomfortable” but believes these are conversations worth having. His partner at the Sanderson Farms Championship, Sophia Albasini, agrees:
It’s hard, but it’s not scary. And with anything in life, there [are] always going to be hard things. And it’s just like, if it makes a difference, it doesn’t matter if it’s hard. You should just do it.
If it’s going to make a difference, it shouldn’t matter if it’s hard.
The WKKF study found a majority of people are optimistic that race relations can get better in the United States, and more than 75% believe racial healing is necessary for bridging divides in the country. The 10 college students who mustered the courage to have conversations with strangers about race at the Country Club of Jackson demonstrated what’s possible..
Sincere Simon, a sophomore basketball player at Tougaloo College, called his conversation “refreshing” and emphasized that it has given him “the courage to go speak to another person … of a different race … and have a real conversation with them.” Williams had a similar reflection:
I found a new kind of urge to continue these conversations with my friends. Like us having the conversation about me being afraid to bring up race in my interracial friendships, I felt like we were able to kind of break that barrier down.
So, why are we afraid to have these conversations?
Researchers from Stanford found that people generally view conversations with a friend about race as beneficial but fear that the conversations could go poorly. The study commissioned by the Kellogg Foundation supports this idea. Nearly one-third of adults expressed concerns about possible conflicts when engaging in conversations or activities designed to increase trust and understanding with people of different races and cultures. More than 25% were concerned they would unintentionally say something wrong or offensive or that their views would be misunderstood or judged harshly.
Jamiah Alexander, a Jackson State University senior, had a front-row seat for how people seemed to feel about participating in conversations about race and racial healing in her role as a facilitator during the Sanderson Farms Championship. “I realized that each one of the participants [was] very nervous,” she said. “And it seems like the fear of the unknown … [o]r just thinking about history and how someone can get very combative or take things the wrong way.” Alexander saw this as an opportunity for her to “be a leader” and “stand in the middle … to speak to their hearts and not emotions.”
A few weeks before going to the Country Club of Jackson, Tougaloo College senior Ethan Mells had a difficult experience at Millsaps that he shared with his conversation partner. “[O]n my way to the event, I was a little uncomfortable,” said Mells. “I was on a bus full of people who didn’t look like me. I really didn’t know where I was going … and I found myself honestly getting a little angry that I felt uncomfortable in that setting.”
Mack Gorton, a senior basketball player at Millsaps College, admitted he “was a little scared,” too. However, he “was also comforted by the fact that [he was there] talking about racial healing.” Kayley Stegall, a fellow Millsaps senior, said this experience taught her that she “shouldn’t have been scared [because] as long as [she’s] aiming to learn to be better and not aiming to harm” people are going to take the questions she asks seriously.
When asked what would motivate them to participate in events designed to foster trust and understanding among people of different races and cultures, more than one-third of the participants in the Kellogg Foundation study preferred honest, two-way conversations with individuals of all backgrounds where all parties can be heard. Dayemport, the Mississippi College senior, agrees:
This is something that I feel passionate about and it’s something that I would love to continue talking about more, with different people, with different faces, in different places.
Because it’s a conversation that needs to be had. And shying away from it isn’t going to make it any easier.
Comments